The Middle of Nowhere Read online

  A memorial to my parents and the two others that had died stared back at me. I hadn’t even known this was here. Aunt Audrey must have known, but why hadn’t she told me?

  “I’m thankful for those people every day,” a large women said as she stood next to me. She had a name tag on that read ‘Vivian’ and I realized that she must have worked here.

  “Oh?” I said glancing at her. She stood at least a foot over me and was at least twice my size. She looked strong.

  “She saved my life,” Vivian said pointing to my mother.

  “She did?” I said swallowing hard.

  “Mmm-hmm, and he tried to get the gun away from the gunman. He was a hero,” she said as if she couldn’t have been more proud of my parents.

  “What about those two?” I asked pointing to the memorial on the wall of a younger woman, maybe my age and the older man with glasses.

  “She was helping other tellers, and he was trying to help our customers into offices, but then, turned out the robber had a buddy in here with him and he pulled out his gun. Oh Lord, that’s when it all got worse. Anyway, I wish I could thank them all, but especially her,” she pointed at my mother again. “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for her.”

  I bit my cheek trying to hold my emotions in, but I couldn’t. I started to shake.

  “Oh no! I’m sorry! What did I say?” she said putting an arm around my shoulder.

  “She was my mother,” I said between sobs, “and my dad.” My whole body shook, and Vivian embraced me hard. She was warm and it felt like it was a hug from both of my parents at the same time.

  “I’m so sorry. I had no idea!” she said squeezing me even tighter.

  “It’s OK,” I said pulling away before I soaked her shirt. I put my hand up and fished for a tissue in my purse. “Can I ask you a question?”

  Vivian smiled brightly, “Of course.”

  “Why do you continue to work here after what happened?”

  “Well, for starters I need the money. Secondly it’s a good job. Good pay. Good co-workers. My boss is great.”

  “Do you feel safe here?”

  “Mostly, I mean I have bad days, but who doesn’t right? Just gotta keep gettin’ up on that horse!” Vivian said with a wink.

  I didn’t know what else to say. If Vivian who had seen everything still came to work here every day, why was I hiding from the world. From people? I was going to have to find a way to process and get on with my life.

  “Thanks for everything,” I said reaching up to give her another quick hug.

  “I have no idea what I did, but you’re welcome,” she said as she waved over my shoulder to someone. “I have to get back to work. You take care of yourself.”

  Vivian patted me on the shoulder and walked away. I turned around to try to find her again, just to see her one last time but she wasn’t there. She didn’t know it but I think she had changed my life.

  16

  On the long drive back to my cabin I ran through everything that had happened with Aunt Audrey, with Vivian and with Rex again. It played out in my head like a movie. After how I had handled things with Rex, I knew he probably wouldn’t forgive me.

  But I would explain. I was going to stop living my life in fear. Maybe it would take baby steps but I was going to start living how I knew my parents would want me to.

  If they were here right now, they would be trying to talk some sense into me. And they would be right. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride about what my parents did for Vivian. I almost had to pull my car over because I was having trouble seeing through my tears. Tears that were helping to wash away my pain.

  If only I would have had the courage to just tell Rex from the start. Everything had just happened so fast and it was easier to hide from it than it was to confront it. But now I wished I would have done it all differently so I wouldn’t have lost him. We were perfect together. Until I blew it.

  By the time I made it to my cabin it was night. Instead of running from my car to my house leaving my bags in the car, I grabbed them out of the backseat and walked to my front door. I opened the locks, closed the door behind me, and flipped one of the locks into place.

  I tossed my bags onto the floor and fell onto my sofa. The ride home had felt like it had taken forever. I was so unbelievably glad to be home. I was still glad to live in the country, there was a peace and serenity here that I loved. I wouldn’t ever be a city girl again, but I knew that if I had to be in the city. I could do it. I could manage it. I’d be OK.

  I must have fallen asleep on the sofa because when I woke up my leg was prickly and I hadn’t been able to walk on it. Sleeping with it hanging over the side of the sofa apparently made my leg fall asleep.

  While I tried to revive my leg I saw it was nearly midnight. I didn’t know why but I had the urge to check my phone. I was hoping he would have tried calling again. And maybe he would have left a message this time. There was a little part of me, OK a big part of me, that wanted to make it right.

  But so much time had passed. Surely he had moved on with all the media attention he had been getting someone would have caught his eye. I puffed out air and set my phone down on the table.

  I turned back around picked up the phone and dialed in his number, only to click it off again. I forced myself to put it back down and walk away from it.

  Halfway to the kitchen it rang. I practically ran back to the phone as if some telepathic message had been sent. “Hello?” I said breathing heavily into the phone.

  “Heather? You OK? You home safe?” Aunt Audrey asked and I knew she was giving me a strange look on the other end.

  “I’m fine, just ran for the phone. Yes, I’m home safe and sound,” I said tapping the table top with my fingertips.

  “Good, I was starting to worry,” she said as she covered up the bottom of the phone and was trying to hide the fact that she was giving Uncle Matt some directions on where to find something in the kitchen.

  “Is Uncle Matt making dinner?” I teased.

  “Funny,” she said, “I have to go… I just wanted to make sure you made it home without any trouble. You know, in case you weren’t stranded out in the wilderness with no reception only to be saved by some hunky wealthy man.”

  “Now who’s funny,” I said rolling my eyes at her.

  We said our goodbyes and I started to make myself a sandwich. I was going to eat, take a long bath and just go to bed. I felt like I had so much sleep to catch up on. Taking care of Aunt Audrey and her house had ended up being exhausting. Not to mention I still hadn’t recovered emotionally from, oh, let’s see, the mugging, Aunt Audrey’s accident, hearing about my parents from Vivian and of course losing Rex.

  Over the course of the night I probably picked up my phone a dozen, maybe two dozen times almost able to press that send button. I chickened out each time. Too much time had passed and I had screwed things up so much it wouldn’t matter what I said. I was probably the last person he wanted to, or cared to hear from.

  As I walked out to the living room in my plain old but super comfy pajamas I heard something outside. I waited to see if I’d hear it again and sure enough I did. Someone was out there, it sounded like I could hear talking. I dashed to my door and clicked the other locks into place. This is what happens when you let your guard down.

  I grabbed my shotgun and tried to peer out the window but I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard them again. It was a loud noise as if they were looking for something, maybe trying to break in. I could call the police but it would take them forever to get here, so I didn’t even think when I called him.

  He picked up almost right away. “Hello?” he said sounding confused.

  I looked at the clock it was late, super late. I’d woken him. “Rex, I’m sorry to call so late but I think there is someone outside my house, maybe two people… I don’t know maybe more!” I said trying to keep my voice down but I could hear my own voice trembling.

  “I’ll be right there,” he said and hu
ng up.

  I wanted to tell him to be careful. But at the same time I was freaking out. It would take him at least ten minutes to get here from his place. I looked at the clock and watched the numbers tick by, listening the noises outside. There were still there when I heard his truck pull into the driveway. I saw him scan the property with his headlights.

  Then I heard his door slam and then a knock on the door. My heart was already beating so fast I couldn’t think straight. I opened the door and he stood there holding a flashlight, “Rifle?”

  I gave it to him. “Lock it,” he said before he closed the door. I did as he instructed, but after he had done so I wished he wouldn’t have gone out there alone.

  Seeing him again had been so strange, even though it had only been for a moment. His hair was grown out even more and his facial hair had grown rather long. But he looked as hot as the day I first saw him, only more rugged.

  Then I heard the gunshot.

  17

  “Let me in,” Rex demanded with a light knock on the door. I unlocked it and let him inside. He handed me the rifle.

  I looked at him waiting for his report. He seemed awfully calm for having potentially ran into a couple of guys trying to break into my cabin.

  He tilted his head, “Is that why you really wanted me here?”

  “Huh?” I said shaking my head at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Heather, it was just a couple of raccoons digging in your trash bin,” he said still looking at me as if I was trying to pull one over on him.

  “But I heard talking,” I said waving my hands.

  “There isn’t anyone out there except two plump raccoons.”

  “Oh,” I said putting my hands over my eyes. “Oh my God. I am so sorry. Did I wake you? You drove all the way here….”

  “Well I thought you were in trouble…,” he said looking at his hands.

  He had come all the way here. Rex had been worried about me. Could there still be a chance? I didn’t know what to do or say and I felt like a total ass for bothering him in the middle of the night over a couple raccoons in my yard.

  “I saw you on the news,” I said but I wasn’t exactly sure why I brought it up.

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah they had a piece about how you were a hero for saving someone from a mugger,” I said crossing my arms in front of my chest.

  “Ah, just another case of, I thought you were in trouble,” he said with a flash of a little smile. I smiled back.

  Our eyes locked for a moment and I could feel a change in the air. Did he still have feelings for me? Could he tell I still had feelings for him? Why did this have to be so complicated?

  “Well I should get going,” Rex said turning towards the door.

  The second his hand touched the doorknob, the words just rushed out of my mouth. “Rex stay,” I said putting my hand on top of his.

  “Heather—”

  “You can’t. You’ve found someone else…,” I said wishing I hadn’t because I couldn’t stop my heart from sinking to my feet.

  “I haven’t found anyone else. I just don’t understand what happened. I don’t even know what I did wrong. I thought I had done the right thing, and you sent me away,” he said with a quick glance at me and then back to his hands.

  “I can explain,” I said gesturing for him to come in and sit down. “Please!”

  He followed me to the sofa and sat back barely making eye contact with me. I could tell he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Or eyes.

  So I took a deep breath and sat next to him. Our knees touching. And then I started to tell him about how my parents had went to the bank that day to take out some cash for a vacation they were planning. And then how the robbers demanded money. I included how my mom and dad tried to stop the gunman before the second gunman pulled out his weapon and started unloading bullets wildly. I told him how they had saved a woman named Vivian. And then I began to explain how their deaths had negatively affected my life. It’s why I ran away, to be far away from the world and the evil people that lived in it.

  “Why would you think I wouldn’t understand all that?” he asked finally able to look at me. “I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”

  “I don’t know. Who would want to be with someone who was afraid of people, the world… life!” I said throwing my hands into the air.

  “I did,” he said glancing away from me.

  “With all that had happened I just wanted to live the rest of my life alone. I hadn’t planned on you,” I said putting my hand on his knee.

  “I sure as hell hadn’t planned on you,” Rex said taking my hand and holding it to his chest. “I’ve been a mess without you. I can’t get anything done, I’m not even sure when I showered last,” he said running his fingers across his beard.

  I reached over and lightly stroked the hair on his face. Rex closed his eyes at my touch.

  “You’ve had some really shitty luck, but people are mostly good. There are people who are just awful in my line of work, ruthless, dishonest, but for the most part people are good. They are kind and helpful, compassionate…. Sitting in this cabin the rest of your life would be taking the easy way out, and from what you’ve told me that isn’t how you were raised. Don’t let the evil in the world win by hiding from it.” Rex put his hand on my shoulder and I almost started bawling at his words. He was right. Aunt Audrey was right. I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen it sooner. Why had it taken all this for me to see?

  “I’m sorry I sent you away that night. I was awful to you and I’m sorry,” I said unable to stop the tears from falling. I saw so much love in his eyes, I just couldn’t stand it.

  Rex stood up and pulled me to my feet with him. “Let’s just forget it, I will help you learn to trust people again. I will help you love again.”

  He tilted my face to his and slowly met my lips with his. If he noticed my salty lips he didn’t seem to care, he just kissed me. And I could feel how much he had missed me in that one simple kiss. It was so powerful and meaningful and sensual, it was almost too overwhelming to take.

  “I already know how to love again,” I said when our lips parted. Our faces were so close I could feel his breath.

  “We’ll work on the rest together,” he said and kissed me again.

  I was happy we were here together again, but I felt awful for what I had put him through. I would have to do what I could to make that up to him.

  “I missed you so much,” I said twisting my fingers into his soft hair. And it was true. I had. More than anyone since losing my parents and probably even before that. It wouldn’t have made any sense in life to be apart from someone I cared about so deeply. Rex was alive. We could be together. And as far as I was concerned we would be.

  Rex picked me up off my feet and carried me to the bedroom. He hadn’t even noticed or cared about my silly plain cotton pajamas. But maybe it didn’t matter because they didn’t stay on long.

  He showed me with every touch and every kiss, how much he too had missed me. And when the sun started to rise, we fell asleep in each other’s arms. A beautiful tangled mess of limbs. I never wanted to let go of him again.

  . . .

  It was after noon when I woke up still in Rex’s arms. He was half smiling in his sleep, so I tried to be careful not to wake him. But apparently he was a much lighter sleeper than I imagined.

  “Where are you going off to?” He pulled me back down on top of him. I couldn’t stop smiling as we gazed into one another’s eyes.

  “It’s so weird,” I said running my index finger down his chest.

  “What is?”

  “It feels like I’ve known you forever but really it hasn’t been that long.” I broke my gaze with him and watched my finger dance on his perfect skin.

  “I feel the same way,” he said as his thumb stroked my shoulder. “I’ve never felt this with anyone before. Shit. I’m just going to say it.”

  He sat up in bed and took my hands into his. I bit my lip
worried about the unusual expression on his face. I almost started to worry when he hadn’t spoken.

  “Heather Perry, I love you. I love everything about you. From your head to your toes and everything inside. All the good and all the bad. I will never love anyone the way I love you,” he said looking into my eyes.

  “Oh my God,” I said raising my hand to my lip to stop it from quivering. “That was beautiful. I love you too, so, so, much.”

  We kissed for a long time before he stopped as if he thought of something else to say. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I want to give this a real go, are you in?”

  “I’m so in,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him.

  “If that means you don’t ever want to go to the city again, I won’t make you. I’d like you to, but that ball will be in your court. If you are never ready, I’m OK with that,” he said as he pointed to the window. “This is home, out here. I love it here, this is where I want to be. But unfortunately I have to work in the city….”

  “Stop. We’ll go to the city again. With you by my side I feel like I can do anything. Now that I know what life is like without you—”

  “You don’t ever have to be without me again,” Rex said kissing me again.

  I couldn’t believe we had both proclaimed our love. We were together and we were going to do what we could to keep it that way. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this kind of happiness inside me.

  “I love you Rex,” I said just wanting to hear the words again.

  “I love you too, Heather.” But hearing him say the words was even better. So, so, so much better.

  18

  Several months had passed. Rex spent most of his free time at my cabin. I read while he worked, which thankfully since he was the boss he could do a lot of from home without having to fly himself back into town too often. Although I was well aware of the fact that his sister was happy about how much less time he spent in the office.